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Because of the everydayness of her experiences with racism, Gesmine felt ready to have hard conversations about it. But when she confronted her white friend about a microaggression directed at Asian Americans, she found her friend backing away, feeling hurt and attacked. Knowing what to say did not prepare Gesmine for the challenging emotional work of remaining connected with her friend with compassion while also challenging her to see why her behavior might be harmful....

When we sense the suffering of others, that’s empathy. But our response might be to forget about it, or feel like we can’t bear it, or we might start blaming. Having compassion is a choice we make consciously and it can only happen with the balance of equanimity. In this conversation between Sharon and Dan Harris, of 10 Percent Happier, they talk about the difference between empathy and compassion, and explore a few ways to avoid burning out....

On that note, if you’re like us, you’ve A, probably spent 83% of your waking hours asking yourself if you should get bangs (BTW, mostly go for it—unless you’re two bottles of cabernet deep, in which case it’s a hard no and please phone a friend instead for said existential crisis); and B, hey, it’s a great skill to have in your arsenal just in case. Even if most stylists offer a complimentary fringe trim, knowing how to cut your own bangs properly can save you a tedious trek to the salon and also prove valuable in times you just need a quick refresh....

Later I came to work with him, in a coaching format. I discovered his life was tormented by his own vicious attacks on himself. Growing up in a critical family, he felt that he never lived up to their expectations. His father—ironically, a judge in a local court—had hoped his son would follow him into law. To his disappointment, his son did not, and he did not hide his disdain for his son’s career choice....

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