Or, maybe you only half heard what was said, as the subject matter sent you into a fear-based place. It’s a common reaction: When anyone says something we don’t like, it’s plausible that instead of really listening and then thinking it through, we feel threatened. This activates the amygdala, which readies us to attack back. Really taking the time to listen to how another person feels—without immediately and sometimes impulsively reacting—creates the space for both parties to feel heard and then to show up with kindness and a more mindful ear. This can be done in any dyad, romantic or otherwise. In this way, you take a moment to pause and reflect on why you feel threatened and then proceed to truly listen, without being on the defensive. While mindfully listening, you might still come up against distractions and triggers, but you can practice noticing your distractibility without judgment and try to redirect your attention to the speaker and the words flowing from them. You can practice cultivating compassion for feeling the need to lash out; you can also do the work that lets you become more attuned to why you are feeling triggered, so you can learn to take a pause before reacting.
How to Practice Mindful Listening
How to Practice Mindful Listening
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Mindful Staff February 3, 2021
Shalini Bahl-Milne September 21, 2021
Barry Boyce September 17, 2020
Christopher Willard October 29, 2020