No mystery. It’s simply how our brains work. We crave. We get. We remember. We crave again. It’s the craving cycle. If we can understand it, we have more of a chance of catching it in the act, and taking steps to make more considered choices. Let’s break down the process and figure out where we can make adjustments.
The Process
The Practice
How to Change
Each time we go through this, neural circuits that associate the experience with pleasant or unpleasant strengthen. So, we might not even notice the feeling or the urge to act. Bam! A habit is laid down. Knowing how this works helps us be compassionate with ourselves (and our spouses). We start to understand how we tick and not take ourselves as seriously. Also, seeing how we reinforce habits can help us change them. Consider a nagging habit. Next time you act it out, see if you can trace each step. Can you see how the habit reinforces itself? Note what’s happening in your body. Can you notice the pleasant/unpleasant and not act on it? What does that urge to act feel like from moment to moment? What type of glasses are you wearing?
