Or is it? When we began our mindfulness practice, this quickly turned into one of our core beliefs. We were both stressed out and overwhelmed in our lives—searching desperately for some way to find a greater sense of ease and flow. So, like many in the mindfulness community, we turned to meditation as a way to cultivate calm and eradicate stress. And, in many ways, it worked. But we also noticed that we still got stressed… a lot! No matter how much we practiced, our lives continued to bring us stressful situations, relationships, and conversations. Of course, we weren’t the only ones clinging to this idea that stress is bad and ease is good. We found this idea lurking in the background of meditation apps, workplace mindfulness programs, and articles offering tips and strategies on reducing stress and anxiety. We found it in popular books and articles on meditation, with headlines like “Reduce Stress with Mindfulness,” “Overcome Stress and Be Happier,” or “Meditation—The Stress Solution.” Like many in the mindfulness community, this idea that stress is bad became an almost sacred belief. Whenever the uncomfortable sensations of stress arose, whenever we felt the faint call of our muscles tensing, our stomach churning, or our heartrate racing, we turned to the breath as a way to control and shift our experience from stress to ease. This approach helped us reframe our thoughts. But we were often left with a residue of physical sensation in the body that we would label as “discomfort.” Our strategy to eradicate stress wasn’t working. Over time, we experienced the underside of this commonly held desire to get rid of stress. We learned first hand that by prioritizing ease over stress, we created a subtle form of aversion—one that undermines mindfulness and our ability to thrive in the living of our lives.
The 2 Stress Avoidance Traps
Practice: Reimagining Stressful Moments with Notice-Shift-Rewire
So, go ahead—stress yourself out. Of course, you don’t want to take this too far: as we all know, when stress becomes chronic, it can indeed become bad. But it’s worth experimenting with allowing yourself to move into the experience of stress in short bursts. There are two ways to do this.
